


Days Without You

by enchantedvelvetlove



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, M/M, Sad Ending, Unhappy Ending, lots and lots of angst, past relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-02-02
Packaged: 2019-03-12 13:53:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13548702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enchantedvelvetlove/pseuds/enchantedvelvetlove
Summary: And our paper houses reach the stars till we break and scatter worlds apart. I paid the price and own the scars. Why we climb and fall so far?





	Days Without You

**Author's Note:**

> Maybe you feel too bad  
> Maybe you pity me for loving you so much  
> I want to be doing well when you ask  
> But each minute, each second is such a mess
> 
> Break ups are all like this  
> Acting like you’re okay  
> Then breaking down in just one moment
> 
> \- 너 없는 시간들, Davichi

Kevin's not used to being in this position. He's not used to standing outside someone's door with sweaty hands, feeling regret running deep through his veins. He's not even sure why he's standing here to be perfectly honest. He's never regretted any of his past actions before, so what's different now? Why does it feel like he's meant to be here, standing outside his ex's apartment, like he's meant to beg for forgiveness?

Kevin can already feel himself being filled with dread when he turns the doorknob, only for it to barely turn as the movement is abruptly stopped. He's never known Jacob to lock his front door before. Especially if he was home. Kevin can already feel the guilt multiplying inside of him. Taking a deep breath, he lifts his closed fist to softly tap against the door, ignoring the urge to bang loudly.

At first, there's no response. But Kevin can hear the soft sigh on the other side of the door. It feels like centuries have passed before Jacob finally opens the door.

"Why are you here?" Jacob's eyes are bloodshot as if he had just finished crying.

Kevin doesn't recognize the man standing in front of him. Jacob's hair is like a bird's nest while he's dressed in mismatched clothing with neon socks on his feet. He looks like the shell of a man who's had his spirit broken. He's never seen Jacob like this before. Jacob, the one who always puts up a strong front, the one who always knows what to say and what people need, the one who is the best of them all.

Jacob coughs heavily into his hand, startling Kevin out of his thoughts. Jacob's hand is bare, Kevin notices, devoid of any sign that a ring had been there.

Jacob's eyes are staring right into Kevin's soul, repeating his question, this time asking again with his firm gaze.

"I-I'm just here to check on you," Kevin slaps himself inwardly because why did he stutter?

Jacob doesn't make any move to show that he's acknowledged what Kevin's said, crossing his arms as he leans against his doorway. Kevin can't help but stare at the lean muscle, remembering the sensation when those lean muscles were wrapped around him.

"You're wasting your time here," Jacob steels his eyes, so unlike the warm and homely feeling he usually radiates.

Kevin can feel his patience snap in a heartbeat, closing the distance between them quickly.

"You see, I don't think I am," Kevin pushes Jacob inside of his apartment.

Jacob's shocked by the movement as he stumbles back until he's lying on his couch. He tries to get up but suddenly Kevin's hovering above him. Kevin's got an almost predatory look in his eyes as the gap between them is quickly closed, engulfing Jacob's lips in a searing kiss.

There are hands gently running across his waist and his nape, contrasting the heated emotions their lips are feelings. Jacob tries to resist but is quickly lost in the feeling as Kevin continues to kiss him passionately. Kevin's trying to gather his wits but he's too lost in pleasure.

Their kiss is like fireworks. It's explosive and full of color but as quickly as it came, it's quickly gone. They break apart quickly like they've just been burned. Jacob pushes Kevin off him, not caring that Kevin landed on the floor, and turns his back.

Kevin remains silent, bringing his fingers to gently caress his lips, rubbing at the skin between his fingertips.

"What was that? Oh my god, Kevin, why did you do this to me?" Jacob's voice is calm but Kevin can recognize the panicked tone. It's the tone Jacob uses when he's unsure of himself, when he's questioning everything in his life. "I was working on it. I was working on getting over you but you just had to pop up and make me feel things! Why do you enjoy torturing me so much? Do my feelings really matter that little to you?"

"What do you mean? None of this is my fault!" Kevin grits his teeth together from his position on the floor. "You agreed to this! You agreed that there would be no feelings involved. You were the one that ruined it!"

"I also said that if anything developed then I would drop everything straight away!" Jacob spits out, using every bit of his being to not spit out a curse word. "I grew feelings and I ran! So what? Why can't you find someone else?"

"We've been over this," Kevin glares at the older male.

"You haven't explained anything to me?" Jacob's voice is toneless. "So why not start now?"

"Why?" Kevin crosses his arms. "It's not like it will change anything."

"If it's not going to change anything, what's the harm in telling me?" Jacob shrugs like they haven't just finished kissing like they're still constants in each other's lives. "Remember when we were out in public and you had no trouble calling me your boyfriend in front of everyone. No problem in declaring just what I meant to you."

Jacob hesitates but he eventually walks forward to stand in front of Kevin. Jacob's body is stressed, Kevin can see the tension in his muscles. He's half expecting Jacob to kick him, to throw him out of his apartment, his life, but instead, Jacob falls to his knees.

Kevin winces at the abrupt sound, his hand reaching out for Jacob's waist to pull him closer so that Jacob is sitting on his lap. He can't even stop himself, it comes too naturally to him.

Kevin stares at the younger male, all feelings of conflict forgotten, hoping that Jacob will kiss him again.

"Why would you tell everyone that if it wasn't true?" Jacob talks like he isn't sitting in Kevin's lap like they aren't just a breath apart. "Do I really mean that little to you? Was any of it real?"

"None of it was real," Kevin says but he's not completely confident in his answer. Nobody's made him feel quite like Jacob had, like Jacob does. He closes his eyes, trying to ignore the way Jacob's face falls, the exact way Kevin's heart falls.

"So this is really it then," Jacob pushes himself away from Kevin, appearing on the other side of the room in an instant. Kevin's arms are on auto-pilot as they blindly reach out for Jacob's form to pull him closer again. "I guess I can't do anything else about it."

"Why are you being like this?" Kevin's angry again, blinded by his emotions. "Why do you have to make me feel like this? Why does it have to be my fault?"

"I never said it was your fault, Kevin!" Kevin feels hollow. Jacob's never called him by his first name before. It was usually a cute nickname or 'love' but never 'Kevin'. "It's my fault! I broke the deal, okay! I grew feelings for you and now I have to pay for it!"

"Then why am I still hurting?!" Kevin tries to keep his tears held in. "Why are you the one that gets to move away like nothing happened? You wanted this just as much as I did!"

Jacob's head snaps in his direction, sending him an emotionless gaze. Kevin wants to scream at him, for Jacob to show him anything, anger, hurt, pain, but for Jacob to stare at him like nothing. That's what really hurts the most.

"I wanted a lot of things but not this! I never wanted to develop feelings for someone who made it a conscious decision to never love me back! I never wanted somebody I cared for to betray me and treat me like I was nothing. I never wanted the person I love to cheat on me with somebody else right in front of me. I loved you so much! But you threw it right back in my face."

Jacob trudges over to the door and opens, grasping the doorknob tightly.

"If nothing is truly going to happen then, please. Just leave."

Kevin wants to scream at Jacob. Wants to scream that he has loved the younger male for a while. That he's imagined a future where they've dated for seven years. Where they got married on a beach with their families looking at them proudly. Where they've got a son and a daughter because they were all about fairness, named after Kevin's father and Jacob's mother. Where they grow old together and eventually pass away with their hands clutching each other tightly until they both go away peacefully.

But he doesn't.

Kevin walks out of the door with his head held high and a firm gaze on his face.

Visions of their future together are burnt to ashes.


End file.
